would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You can't motorboat a personality
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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