What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
