People in love make me want to vomit
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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