Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
