this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think my moral compass just broke
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
