I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
