K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
