she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You can't just leave with hair like that
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
