Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
this will be a night to untag.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
