Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
