I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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