bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
