I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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