took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
they call him Oral-B. enough said
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Alive.
So much puke
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
