Tell her she can't have a vagina
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
