Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
