He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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