Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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