Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
