apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize