i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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