it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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