I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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