go do what you do best...puke behind churches
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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