half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
