How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
