There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
