I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I fill condoms, not promises.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize