Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Barsexuality is the new black.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
