i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
