Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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