Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
