Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
two words: eviction party
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
