I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I love you. Go after that dick
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