I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
