and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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