Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
