I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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