so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize