too bad you live with your parents still
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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