yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
