She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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