and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
