Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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