The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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