This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
