Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
