So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
