Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
