I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
