Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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