Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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