I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
