Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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