Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
