billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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