And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize
