If i come over, it means nothing
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize