dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
