Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
