He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he quoted the bible to break up with me
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
