Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
