I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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