His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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