nut hugger
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
