32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Watching her eat just hurts me
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
